Three People. 366 Days. 1 Blog.

Monday 27 February 2012

The End

So, we made it to February 24th. It's been fun, but we're going to stop now. We haven't got the time or energy to put loads of effort into finding crazy things to do, and we thought we'd quit now, rather than watching the blog gradually tail off into nothingness. Our final viewing figures: 1,111 views from 11 different countries. Anyway, we hope you've enjoyed it. Good morning, and if we don't see you again, good afternoon, good evening, and...
Goodbye.

Friday 24 February 2012

February 24th: National Tortilla Chip Day

Today is tortilla chip day - not to be confused with corn chip day, which was near the end of January. As luck would have it, we happened to have an entire bag of Chilli Doritos on top of our refrigerator. Which is a shame, really, 'cause I much prefer the cheesy ones. Or even the "Cool Original" ones.
Still, y'know what they say. A tortilla chip is a tortilla chip. Especially on tortilla chip day.
Having said that, I went to put the Doritos back, and found that we had a bag of Cool Original as well. Which was pretty awesome. We also had a posher bag of "Sea Salt and Chardonnay Wine Vinegar Crisps", which I didn't eat any of, naturally. It's amusing, though - the way adding "Sea" makes it sound so much better. At the end of the day, it's just plain old sodium chloride... (NaCl, Giant Ionic Lattice, positive and negative ions held together in a fixed repeating pattern by electrostatic attraction, poor conductor of electricity when solid, conducts when aqueous, not malleable). Tastes nice, though.

February 23rd: International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day

Soo I(Laura) tried to eat a dog biscuit. It wasn't so bad at first but then... *shutters* I can still taste it... here it is.

Wednesday 22 February 2012

22nd February: Be Humble Day

Be Humble. It’s a tricky thing to do – if you think you’ve managed it, then perhaps you’re being too arrogant about your humility. I can’t claim to be the humblest person ever, though I try to avoid boasting about my huge array of incredible talents, such as my awesome unicycling ability, my “formidable maths skills”, my amazing memory, the prodigious strength that allows me to support the weight of 3 people whilst hanging upside down… I’m going to stop there.
Joking aside, the past few weeks have actually been a very humbling experience. As I try to work my way back into the normal routine of school, and life in general, I’ve had to admit that I can’t cope with taking it all on at once – that I do need to take things slowly. For someone who’s spent years throwing himself into everything possible, and taking pride in the fact that he can successfully manage a significant amount more than many of his peers, this is quite difficult. And I’m doing it again today – recognizing that throwing myself back into school might not be the best idea… being humble about my ability to cope with everything that’s going on. 
On another note, it's Ash Wednesday - the start of Lent. Probably a good day to be humble. I considered the idea of joining everyone else in giving up Facebook for Lent, but decided against it. However, I am going to try and read the whole of the New Testament during Lent - something that may well require me to cut back on time spent on Facebook.
I’ll leave you with this rather fitting Bible verse, though it's not from the New Testament:
“He has shown you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly, to love mercy,
and to walk humbly with your God."

Tuesday 21 February 2012

Card Day!

Well hi-diddely-hi there!

It's Card Day! I know. Card Day. Joe gets Chocolate Mint Day (or is that mint chocolate?) Laura gets Hoodie-Hoo Day. And I get Card Day.

Yano...those boring things that come with the presents you get at birthdays and Christmas. In my house when it's been someone's birthday the  cards go on the mantelpiece, but then they stay up there until it's the next person's birthday. Currently I think we have some lovely cards from my sister's birthday. Which was back in October. OCTOBER.

Cards are very underrated. Good things come in small packages, and hot darn, cards don't disappoint. I know that huge present looks amazing, and you want to eat it and all. But check that card. It might have some money in it...

Monday 20 February 2012

February 20th: Hoodie Hoo Day

So on Hoodie Hoo Day you're supposed to go outside at noon, wave your hands in the air and yell "HOODIE HOO!" to make spring come and winter go away. Sooo I read this last night and was super excited, of course, because I love spring! And I will do anything to get winter out of here... I mean, I like winter and everything but by February in Wisconsin when there's still snow on the ground, you're just completely sick of it.

So anyway I set my phone alarm to go off at noon today and I don't know what happened. But I completely forgot and now I'm crushed... But in the middle of Algebra I finally remembered and yelled HOODIE HOO! and waved my hands in the air. You'd think this would draw attention to me or something, but I do this kind of thing all the time that it's not even noticeable anymore.

Anyways, my one job for the day and I failed :( Now you know who to blame if spring doesn't come fast enough.

Sunday 19 February 2012

February 19th: National Chocolate Mint Day.

I’m guessing this must be an American thing – I would call it mint chocolate. And I’m fairly sure that the majority of Britain would agree with me (correct me if I’m wrong). And, when you think about it, mint chocolate is actually far more logical. Dark chocolate, milk chocolate, white chocolate… clearly mint chocolate.

Anyway, I am currently eating a bar of Aero. I don’t particularly want a bar of Aero – having just had a weekend of circus, my muscles are dying, and I would have much preferred going to sleep than walking down to the shops to buy an Aero bar. But I’m eating one anyway. Never been a huge fan of Aero, really. As mint chocolate goes – it’s not the best. After Eights would have been nice, but they cost too much to be worth buying for no great reason. Anyone ever played the after eight game? I win at that.

Thankfully, Aero does confirm my suspicions – the product description very clearly says “mint chocolate”. And I’m going to leave the blog there.

Saturday 18 February 2012

February 18th: Battery Day

At first, seeing this day I thought really?? A day for batteries?? But I guess I really take batteries for granted. Just like those Duracell commercials always say! ;) Not only things like walk-e-talkies and TV remotes use batteries. Hospitals use types of batteries, too. Cars have batteries, and the army uses batteries. I guess our society really depends on them a lot more than I thought they would.

ASLO fun fact! Energizer isn't the only battery company with a bunny as their mascot. Duracell has a bunny too, apparently. I say the Energizer bunny is better. The Duracell one is just creepy....


What do bunnies have to do with batteries anyway? I thought they were just cute, now they're some sales pitch? Sigh... what is wrong with the world?

Joe thinks the Duracell bunny is the best, having never seen the Energizer one in his life. Also, rechargeable batteries win.

Friday 17 February 2012

February 17th: Champion Crab Races Day

It was sort of hard to celebrate today because, unfortunately, I'm all out of racing crabs. So instead I looked it up. There was a World Championship Crab Race today in California where crabs raced on a four foot raceway. I guess they eat a ton of crab at these things too. Don't you think that's sort of barbaric? To race them and have this huge celebration for the winner.... and then eat it's family?? I don't know. It sounds pretty heartless if you ask me. Have some respect!

I think it's pretty sad that all people could think of for February 17th is racing crabs. I mean, someone had to have thought of all these holidays, right? Were they just sitting around thinking, "Hm... February 17th... We already have International Polar Bear Day, what else is there? How about crab racing!" I mean, how random can you get?? But I guess some people really care about racing crabs. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against crab racing. Nothing sounds more thrilling than watching a crustacean shuffling down a track. I'm going to have to see that sometime.

Thursday 16 February 2012

February 16th: Do a Grouch a Favor

I was super excited for this day because it's pretty much my goal in life to cheer up grumpy people. Yeah. Pretty sweet. But, unfortunately, I have failed my mission. For today, anyway.

So... I pretty much just ran around asking people if they were grouchy. No one was grouchy. Except one of my friends was grouchy at the end of the day. I tried to tell her a story about a clam named George who had no friends. It didn't cheer her up :/

BUT, you could say a did a favor for a grouch today. I was being a big grouchy earlier today when I realized I have a huge biology project due Monday and I won't be home most of the weekend to work on it. So I guess I did myself a favor by not doing everything I was supposed to do (like writing this for example) and looking at funny pictures online instead. Eventually, I did have to do everything though. In like 5 minutes. But hey, I did my grouchy self a favor. So I guess...

mission accomplished.

Wednesday 15 February 2012

February 15th: National Gumdrop Day

Well, today being National Gumdrop day, I rode down to the high street after circus, and bought some gumdrops. I am now eating them. There isn't much more to say on the subject, except that they're quite nice. However, for the sake of giving all you people something to read, I will write briefly about the fact that I rode down to the shop on my Muni. That being a mountain unicycle, obviously.
Now, the muni is undoubtedly the worst unicycle I own. I got it second hand of e-bay a few years ago, and compared to the quality of my other 4 unicycles, it really is pretty old, and rubbish. It doesn't have the control of the freestyle, or the speed of the 36". It's not as impressive as the giraffe, I can't do any tricks on it, and, strangely, it's not that good off road. Despite that, however, I really like riding it. It's quite handy when you just want to get somewhere in Coventry - over short distances, it's much less hassle than the road unicycle. And, in addition to that, there's just something really fun about riding it. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's just more exciting than any of the others, even the giraffe. It's something about the speed, combined with the fact that on the muni, more than on any other unicycle, I can be unbalanced while riding. There's a different style of turning - you lean into the corners far more, and do an awesome twist out of them, bringing the uni up underneath you. You ride over the bumps, ignoring the fact that they're there, and let the tyre cope with them. I'd say that being on the muni reminds me of why I first got on a unicycle, but that would be a complete lie. It doesn't. But I cannot deny that it is... cool.

Tuesday 14 February 2012

February 14th: Ferris Wheel Day and Heart to Heart Day

Apparently there's a family story about my aunt and a ferris wheel! :O

When my aunt was in high school, she called in sick to work so she could go to a fair with her cousins. (she has like five billion...) They got on this double ferris wheel, which I guess is this ferris wheel on top of a ferris wheel. It's sort of hard to explain, but I guess they're both turning seperately but also together in one circle. I don't know. Anyway, when my aunt and her cousins were at the top of the ferris wheel, it got stuck. What else? The fire department had to come and everyone had to climb down a ladder, even my aunt and her cousins at the very top. So, of course, my aunt got her picture in the newspaper and her boss saw it. Oh, and he fired her. Probably the most predictable movie cliche out there, and it actually happened to my aunt. Haha, happy Ferris Wheel Day :)

Monday 13 February 2012

February 13th: Get A Different Name Day and Dream Your Sweet Day

I love this day. First of all, I've always wanted a different name. Laura is just too... boring. Unless you're Laura Ingalls Wilder, then you're beast. So I'm going to list all the different names I've "had" or ever been called.
  • Sally and Sam- When I was little I always wanted one of these to be my names. Don't ask me why, out of all the names I could think of I chose Sally. Ugh. Sam isn't bad though.
  • Andrew Christian and Emily- I as almost named one of these. Obviously Andrew Christian would've been if I were a boy. :P
  • Kat- Nickname one of my best friends gave me because my middle name is Katherine. And it's cute :)
  • Bessy- Nickname someone gave me because of my last name, not because I'm a cow.
  • Ellbie- Nickname some friends gave me because my initials are LB
  • Axel- For some reason, someone thought my name was Axel and started calling me that. I mean Axel, Laura same thing, right?
  • Laurel, Taylor and Molly- For some reason, I have 3 different nicknames in my spanish class, and none of them are Spanish.
Not to mention all the nicknames my family gave me. Yeah. I have a lot. But I decided, since I can only pick one new name today, it should be Banquo. I auditioned for Macbeth at my school today and I read the part of Banquo.
Joe doesn't really want a new name. He's quite happy with the one he has. However, he did quite enjoy spending several weeks being referred to as "The Merlin", so he might have that as a new name if he wanted one. Or just go back to being called "Joseph". Also, it would be quite interesting to have a really weird second name, like our good friend Patrick Von Goldman, or, for that matter, Hrolf Refreshingbeveragesniffer. On another note, somebody decided that his sister's surname began with a B, and so she's now going to have to find someone to get married to..."
The second holiday today is Dream Your Sweet Day. Since it's the day before Valentine's Day, today you're supposed to dream of your sweetheart. Tomorrow, my sweetheart is a stuffed animal my friend promised me. I'm going to dream about it all night now. <3

Sunday 12 February 2012

February 12th: National Plum Pudding Day

Again, not the best time to have this day. The only time that plum puddings make an appearance in our house is at Christmas, and they're generally wasted then, as neither Esther nor I like them. So, unsurprisingly, I didn't eat any plum pudding yesterday. Instead, I decided to use the day as an excuse to focus on something that springs to mind somewhat more readily when I hear the words “plum pudding”. Yep, that’s right. The plum pudding model of the atom, proposed by J.J.Thompson in 1904, then disproved by the famous Rutherford scattering experiment in 1909. Admittedly, it was wrong, and not the most exciting scientific theory ever, but it did lead to Bohr’s quantum model of the atom, which was a fairly important step in the development of quantum mechanics.
Quantum mechanics, by the way, is awesome. It seems to be a general law that Chemistry teachers aren’t allowed to understand it, but when you find either a physics teacher or a book that really know what they’re talking about…
And I’m getting off topic. I hope Jonnie and/or Laura has actually eaten some plum pudding now, but hey. Physics is way cooler.

Saturday 11 February 2012

February 11th: White Tee-Shirt Day and Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day

Really hoping that my nice font is working this time – it seemed to dislike kite flying day. Anyway, today being White T-shirt Day, I naturally decided to celebrate it by not wearing a white t-shirt. Which may be strange, but these days are all about doing something unusual, and I wear white t-shirts too often. Almost every circus performance I do, for example, seems to involve wearing white. They’re quite good to wear under shirts in the winter, too. Fun fact: the T-shirt evolved from underwear in the 19th Century (1800s). Okay, so that’s not actually that fun, but hey. I have 5 white t-shirts.

Of course, we can’t go forgetting that today is also Don’t Cry Over Spilt Milk Day. Now, I’m sure that this is meant to be a metaphor, and I’m meant to do something deep and meaningful today, and that I’m meant to take this phrase as a central guideline to my entire life. But there’s no fun in that. So, instead, I spilt some milk. And didn’t cry over it. (It was a proper spill, by the way. None of this pouring a bit of milk onto the side. There was a bottle of milk, without a lid on, and I knocked it over. The milk was spilled. And I didn’t cry.)

Interestingly, while I was standing there, looking at the puddle of milk, and struggling to hold back the tears, a thought occurred to me. The phrase is always “don’t cry over spilt milk.” Does that mean you can cry under it? Or beside it? And are you allowed to cry over spilt water? Spilt apple juice? Spilt maple syrup? Spilt blood?
(Don’t go spilling blood. That would be bad).
Having had all these interesting thoughts, and successfully avoided crying, I went to get a cloth. I might go to sleep in a white T-shirt. Just for the sake of it. But I'll leave you with an important question: is it spilt, or spilled?

February 10th: Umbrella Day

I love umbrellas. They're so cute. Unless Mary Poppins is flying through the air with one, looking like she's about to murder children. I hate Mary Poppins. Anyway... what was I talking about? Oh. Okay so when I was like 6 my Aunt gave me a dalmatian umbrella with matching rain boots. I was always excited when I got the chance to use them, but it wasn't that often. I should've brought them to England when I came last year.

So I almost brought my puppy dog umbrella to school, but it was too big. So I brought one I found in our closet, which of course was broken. All the umbrellas my family has ever owned have broken. All of them. I planned on bringing it from class to class and opening it up and walking down the halls with it, but I decided that was probably not a good idea. The hallways are already packed and I don't think people would be very happy to have an umbrella shoved in their face. Not to mention the bad luck I'd have for opening it indoors. So I just put it in my locker and carried it around OUTSIDE of school.

Joe's family seems to have the same problem with umbrellas. Dad always has a good one, but the others are always broken. And Dad's one breaks if anyone else uses it. We found an umbrella at the bus stop a few years ago, and we kept it for a while. I can't remember what happened to it, but I think it might have broken too. Anyway, broken umbrellas are the reason that coats exist, and coats are cool. So it's not all bad news.

Thursday 9 February 2012

February 9th: Toothache Day

Why is there a toothache day? Is it like a remembrance of past toothaches or is it just a marketing tool for stuff like Orajel? Whatever the reason, I decided I would find a way to celebrate it.

At first I planned on pretending to have a toothache all day, but then I decided that was just weird and not even funny. "Hah! Just kidding. I don't really have a toothache. I'm just celebrating Toothache Day!" But it wouldn't have been a big deal. Everyone at my school already knows I'm a freak. :)

So I finally decided I would only eat soft foods today (as a person with a toothache would) like applesauce, yogurt and soup. I was doing pretty well until someone offered my a Twix and I crumbled. It sort of went downhill from there... But for my actual meals I only ate soft foods. It was actually pretty gross. I've decided I like solid food.

Wednesday 8 February 2012

February 8th: Kite Flying Day

I now dislike whoever decided on this list of days. Why, oh why, did they decide to put Kite Flying Day at the beginning of February?! Granted, flying kites is fun. Especially in the summer, where it’s nice and sunny and warm. However, when it’s 0°C, and your fingers freeze off while you try to untangle the string, it’s not so great.
I rode up to the common, spent twenty minutes getting the strings sorted out, and then launched the kite. The strong winds pulled it straight up into the sky, and it soared through the crisp winter air, doing loops and spirals at the slightest pull from my expert hands… or not. There was no wind. BBC told me there was 8mph – force 3, I think. I would have called it a force 1, at most. After running backwards across almost the entire common, I still hadn’t succeeded in keeping it in the air for more than 10 seconds. Generally, it would lift off the ground, crumple, and come back down.
Normally, I’m not bad at kite flying. Dad’s the expert, but I can still do the basic loops, twists and figures of 8 well enough. No such luck today. Even when the wind perked up a bit a the end, there still wasn’t enough to do anything more than basic flying.
Not the most successful kite flying day ever. However, it did spark off a little idea. Basically, there’s a trick on the unicycle called gliding, where you take your feet off the pedals, and let your momentum carry you along, using one foot on the wheel to control your speed. It’s also possible to do this while being pulled along, by another unicyclist, or occasionally a car. So I figured, with a strong enough wind… kite pull gliding? Well, when it’s warmed up a bit…

Tuesday 7 February 2012

Charles Dickens Day

Well Sirree, it's Charles Dickens day and it seems rather appropriate that we should celebrate it this year - if old Charlie were alive today, he'd be 200!

Charles Dickens is one of the most celebrated British writers, he write many books and my family owns most of them! They are all quite good, if a little long. His most famous is A Christmas Carol, which has even been made into a muppet version (with a stellar performance from Kermit the Frog as Bob Cratchit).

As part of Charles Dickens day, I decided to try and fit as many Charles Dickens quotes as I could throughout the day.

'Please sir, can I have some more, sir?'
My mother wasn't pleased at being called sir, but I had to keep in character.

"There's nothing better than a friend, unless it's a friend with chocolate."
Well, that or marshmallows. Or pretty much any food, I'm not fussed.

"God bless us, every one!"

What a cutie patootie.


And I leave you all with a wonderful quote;

“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.”

True dat

Also, Laura was thrilled when her English class sang Happy Birthday to Charles Dickens, even though most in that class don't like him because he was a little dickens.(heh... see what I did there??)

Monday 6 February 2012

February 6th: Lame Duck Day

Hey guys - Laura here. I don't really understand the meaning of this metaphor, but I do have a story about a lame duck!

When my sister was 8, she went fishing with my family at a nearby pond. She saw a duck "flailing about" in the water, unable to move. Looking at the duck, it seemed she was tangled in fishing line. My sister waded into the water and untangled the duck from the line. "She saved the duck and saved the day" as my dad says. Moral of the story is, when  you see a lame duck, free it from the fishing line. I don't know what hidden meaning this could have, but give this as advice and you'll always sound smart.

Sorry if this blog is "lame" but I need to "duck" into bed. Goodnight!

Sunday 5 February 2012

February 5th: Disaster Day

Strangely enough, despite all the things that could potentially have gone wrong, there weren't any major disasters today. England survived the Cricket, which is less of a disaster than most people would have predicted yesterday. There weren't any Earthquakes, or Tornadoes. And the snow duck that we made definitely wasn't a disaster. Jonnie named it Potato, for some reason.

On another note, there were a few minor errors. Joe was doing a crazy trapeze routine last night, and despite being exhausted, his attempts to go to sleep, both last night, and well into this morning, were complete disasters. Following on from that, the lack of sleep meant that he completely failed to do any Chemistry homework. Also, most of the snow melted, which is just rubbish. It means that there definitely won't be a snow day tomorrow, which could be seen as a disaster by some... especially since we have Statistics.

I'm sure Laura has some incredibly disastrous events to tell you about, but - sadly - all our attempts to find out about these have met with disaster. I'm sure she'll add some stuff later. Meanwhile, feel free to watch Joe's trapeze routine... if my attempt to post the link is a disaster, I apologise.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=2832789693936


Laura finds it a complete disaster that she couldn't have lived in the 1960s. What's so great about the 1960s? Um, hello! The Sandlot! If you haven't seen The Sandlot, that is completely disasterous and you must watch it now. Also, it's a disaster that the Packers aren't playing in the Superbowl, and Laura still feels obligated to watch it.(though she probably won't...) Sigh. What is this world coming to?

Saturday 4 February 2012

February 4th: Create a Vacuum Day

Create a Vacuum day. Before I start writing anything, I’d just like to point out that this day is ridiculously unfair. For a start, it’s impossible to create a vacuum without access to high tech laboratory equipment. And even if I did have said equipment, it’s entirely conceivable that I still wouldn’t be able to fulfil the aims of this day, as there is strong scientific evidence that, due to the idea of pair production, it is completely impossible to create a true vacuum. (If you’re interested, go and find the programme “Nothing”, by Jim Al-Khalili. It’s very good).

So, I haven’t done much vacuum making. I did go around sucking all the air out of a couple of bottles with the weird pump thing that you use to pressurise bottles of wine, but this doesn’t really create a vacuum. If you try it on a plastic bottle, the bottle crumples. If you try it on a wine bottle, it makes the air surrounding the bottle smell of wine. Not that there’s anything wrong with that – I’ve always thought wine smells slightly better than it tastes… Interestingly, there’s a device that does exactly the opposite of the pump thing that I failed to find a name for a few lines above. It puts air into bottles – very useful for pressurising bottles of fizzy drinks, so they don’t lose their fizz. We don’t have one, sadly, but they are pretty cool.

In other news, England got thrashed in the cricket, and I got a dent in my leg from a circus performance. Thank you, and goodnight. Try not to get snowed in. 

Friday 3 February 2012

February 3rd: Cordova Ice Worm Day

I found out what a cordova ice worm is!! Okay. Story time.

Sooo in 1898 this guy named EJ White was working as a journalist in Alaska. He got a job writing for the Klondike Nugget on the condition that he increased sales. After this huge snow storm hit, White wrote about this new creature called the ice worm. What a sneaky fellow. Everyone freaked out so he kept writing about it blah blah blah. You can find the whole official legend here: http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/tall-tales/alaska.html

So now, every year in Cordova they celebrate Cordova Ice Worm Day with a winter carnival. No joke. They elect ice worm king and queen, too. It is now my life dream to be elected Cordova Ice Worm Queen just because it'd be awesome to brag about.

Thursday 2 February 2012

February 2nd: Purification Day

Soo I've been trying to think of a way to celebrate today, but I really don't know. So I'm just going to exaggerate everything I did so it sounds like I celebrated.

I "purified" my homework folder.
I "purified" my room... sort of.
I "purified" my glasses.
I "purified" my teeth.
I "purified" my facebook notifications.
I "purified" my wallet...
I "purified" my hair.

But it's not cheating because the official definition of purification is "the act of cleaning by getting rid of impurities" So... it counts, right?

There's a movie called "The Purifiers". I hadn't heard of it until today when I was just looking up "purification" on google as a desperate attempt to find something worth writing about. Anyway, I watched the trailer and I pretty much only wanna see it because Dominic Monaghan is in it <3 If you don't know who that is, slap yourself in the face. Or just look him up online, either way. He played Merry in Lord of the Rings.

WOOHOO! A long enough blog post! Now I just have to figure out how to write one for tomorrow... What's a cordova ice worm??

Wednesday 1 February 2012

February 1st: Serpent Day

February 1st, eh? Wow. Somehow, incredibly, unbelievably, inconceivably, in defiance of all expectations, we have managed a month of blogging. And it’s been pretty fun. 710 views last month – thanks to everybody who kept up with the blog during January.

Anyway. Tis Serpent Day. And yes, that rhymed. I am awesome. Now, you may think that there’s not much to do on Serpent Day, besides casual slithering, unless you happen to have a pet snake… but you’d be wrong. For a start, you can experiment with different kinds of slithering…

  • Fake slithering. I don’t know why people do this, but it seems to be a generally held belief that being a snake involves lying on your stomach and dragging yourself forward with your arms. What’s with that? Since when did snakes have arms? Still, if you’re not man enough to try a bit of proper slithering, then maybe this is the one for you.
  • Side to side. This one is a bit more sensible – lie on your stomach, and slide one side of your body forwards, then the other. Apologies for the bad explanation – you might see what I mean if you get down and give it a go. This one is slow, but effective.
  • Up and down. This may be more caterpillar than snake, but I’m fairly sure that they move by scrunching up their body, then extending it from the tail forwards. This is somewhat harder for humans to do, but still possible. It’s slightly faster than side to side, but less comfortable.

I also made a balloon serpent. For those of you who don’t know, I do quite a bit of balloon modelling. Occasionally, I get asked for a snake, so I made up a model a while ago. I don’t particularly like it, but it looks quite cool if you can find something to coil it round. The one I made is light blue, called Jerry, and is currently coiled around the chin-up bar in my bedroom doorway. I might upload a picture at some point.

Hhhaasssssssssssssaaaasssssssssssshhhe.